Jennifer Breheny Wallace wrote a brilliant article in the Journal last month, The Retirement Crisis No One Warns You About: Mattering, about her upcoming book on the topic. For Wallace, mattering is “the sense that we are valued by others and that we have value to add to the world.” People thrive when they feel that they matter.

She discusses some key ideas for how to plan for your “mattering span,” not just your wealth span or your health span. I’ll share some of her key ideas, and I plan to read the book, but the most powerful part of the article is her conclusion that when you feel like you don’t matter, one of the best things you can do is show someone else that they matter. “The fastest way to feel like you matter is to show someone else that they do.” I think this might be the most beautiful idea I have read in a long time.

I just finished Arthur Brooks’ book From Strength to Strength, which looks at retirement through a lens of identity disruption as well. He is careful to point to a shift from doer to teacher – from productivity and performance to wisdom, mentoring, and teaching. The core idea that connects to what I think Wallace is pointing to, is that throughout our lives, especially in our later years, we can find powerful ways to translate our strengths into service.

Talking with a friend today about these articles, she said something so powerful. For her, she looks at rest, stillness, enjoying Creation, and being loved by God as something she looks forward to deepening in retirement. I think this is powerful as well – we don’t have to plan every inch of our lives, and we don’t have to strive for something in retirement or in times of transition, but can instead focus more generally on finding and cultivating deeper and more meaningful connections across our faith and our lives.

What I love from all of these ideas is the importance of considering our inner life. We must do this not just in retirement, but across every age and stage. Embracing time to think, to matter, and to find purpose is a powerful exercise in building a life of service and impact, as well as rest and joy.

From the article, here are some of her key tips:

• Find a way to carry a thread of your former identity into the next chapter.
• Say yes to every invitation that comes your way, like coffee with a neighbor or joining a book club. When someone reaches out, they are “taking a small risk in their bid for connection.”
• Find opportunities to add value.
• Find a way to give your time, your talent, or your treasure.
• You have a responsibility to make yourself useful again.

Highly recommend Brooks (review coming soon!) and can’t wait to read Wallace!